Open Your Child's Eyes to Poverty- 5 Ways You Can Get Started

I'm raising three white children in a middle class home in a suburb of Seattle, WA. We live in a gated neighborhood where there is nary a sign of any real want. Sure, we see tents along the highway in the city where homeless camps have been set up and we pass by, make eye contact and smile at those men and women holding signs at the intersection, but how do we really help our kids grasp the reality of poverty when we are so far removed from it.
Several years ago, I read a quote by Shane Claiborne, in his book Irresistible Revolution that says "the problem is not that American Christians do not care about the poor. The problem is that American Christians do not know the poor"
How true is this! We care when we know. When we hear about true need and crisis, American people are quick to step up and help when they can. But how do we get to know the poor and the needs of those in poverty?
Poverty in America looks very different than poverty in developing and third world countries. My hope is that our children will have a larger world view that includes people to the ends of the earth. So how do we open our children's eyes to poverty? I'm sharing five ways today that I hope will help you know where to start.

I've been fortunate enough to have traveled to several developing nations like Uganda and Zambia with World Vision and have seen the work being done in communities that are dealing with extreme poverty {those living on less than $1.25 a day}. When I've come home, I've shared stories of the people that I have met and my children have heard from me how different their lives are from those children on the other side of the world. 
But it doesn't take traveling out of the country to have a conversation with your children about poverty. 

Be Prepared

Kids ask questions all the time. Sometimes those questions come when you are least prepared to give an answer. When my kids were much younger, I was approached by a homeless man outside of the store asking me for a few dollars. I smiled at the man as I juggled bags of groceries and kids in my arms and responded that I don't carry cash. When my kids and I got in the car they asked why I lied to the man. 
Be prepared for a response. If we tell our kids to help those in need, but when someone in need asks for help and you don't help them, what explanation are you going to give to them. I could have been taken off guard and launched into a whole explanation about bad choices and addiction {which isn't always the case} but instead I told them that we don't give money directly to someone on the street, but that we do give money to community programs that can help those in need. 

Talk About It

Don't be afraid to have a discussion about poverty. None of us has all of the answers, if we did, there wouldn't be poverty. The goal of talking about poverty is to encourage empathy. Express how it makes you feel sad that those people living in a tent don't have a warm bed to sleep in at night. Talk about how happy you are that your children have a doctor to go to when they are sick and that they have clean water to drink and that not all children have those things.

Do Something for Someone Else

Last year, I wrote Top 5 Reasons Why You Should Volunteer as a Family and Where to Start. It's always been very important for us to serve together as a family. Your kids may have their own ideas of how they want to help. Be open to listening to those ideas. Maybe they want to donate some of their unused toys to a homeless shelter or while they are school supply shopping they want to buy supplies for a child at their school who might not otherwise have any. 
Maybe you want to put together blessing bags as a family so that when you see a homeless man or woman on the side of the road, you have something to give to them. A blessing bag is a Ziploc bag and can include non perishable food items like granola bars and water bottles as well as personal care items like a toothbrush and shampoo. Or you might want to spend an afternoon as a family at a food bank sorting items or make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches that you can distribute to the homeless nearby. 

Experience It

Turn off your water for the day and see how difficult it is to not have a home with running water. Take a walk with buckets to your local water source {it could be a drainage pond or a puddle nearby} and walk home with the water. Eat a simple meal of beans and rice or even consider skipping a meal {elementary age kids can skip breakfast} to see what it really feels like to be hungry. Consider getting your older kids involved in the 30 hour famine. Spending some time experiencing the effects of poverty can help open your kids heart and mind to a new understanding of the poor. 

Our sponsored child Moses at his home in Uganda

Sponsor a Child 

One of the greatest things we have done as a family is to sponsor a child through World Vision. We started sponsoring Moses more than 5 years ago and we now sponsor a young girl named Sheila as well. World Vision has children available for sponsorship in nearly 100 countries. 
When we started sponsoring Moses we got a packet of information about him and his family and the area that he lives in. There was also information and even videos of our sponsored children on the website that we could watch. We write to our sponsored children and they write back to us. We love to receive pictures and letters and hear how their life is improving because of our monthly donation of $35. It's been a great way for our children to think about someone their age that is growing up in very different circumstances. You can find out more about child sponsorship here.
We have also found these books helpful to share with our children as they have gotten older.  
Under the Overpass is a book about two guys who decided to break free from their middle class lifestyles and see what it was really like to live on the streets for five months. It was an eye opening view for how we respond to those men and women that we see on the streets.
Same Kind of Different as Me by Ron Hall and Denver Moore A story of two men from two very different backgrounds forming an unlikely friendship.
Interrupted by Jen HatmakerThis was a great book sharing how to live on mission right where you are.
The Hole in Our Gospel by Rich SternsThe message in this book challenged me to live differently and opened my eyes to change my world view.
We enjoyed watching this documentary on Netflix as well.
Living on $1 a Day Follow the journey of three guys living on $1 a day in rural Guatemala. 
I would love to hear about some of the ways that your family helps to open your child's eyes to poverty in your backyard and around the world. 
dislaimer: this post may have affiliate links. By clicking on them and purchasing through them, I may receive a small commission. These small purchases help me to continue to keep writing content and creating at Holy Craft. Thank you!

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The Best Baby Laundry Tips

Disclosure: This post was sponsored by the maker of OxiClean™ through their partnership with POPSUGAR Select. While I was compensated to write a post about their Versatile Stain Remover, all opinions are my own.

It's been a few years since I had a little one at home, but my sister-in-law is preparing to welcome her third baby girl in the next few weeks. Those sweet little ones are adorable but they bring with them a whole lot of laundry! Heck, even as they get bigger the laundry never slows down, but there is something sweet and special about washing little onesies and miniature size pants that your hand couldn't fit in that makes laundry sort of fun. 

In the middle of a full on kitchen remodel {and general home upheaval}, I offered to help my sister-in-law wash up some of those hand me down baby clothes for her new baby girl.  I thought that I would put together the best baby laundry tips to help you in case this is the stage of life that you are in.

1. Pick a versatile stain remover

Little ones make big stain. I like to use OxiClean™ because not only is it a tough stain fighter, it's also gentle enough for even the littlest of little clothes. I used OxiClean™ Versatile stain remover on my sister-in-laws hand-me-down load to help remove any of those tough baby stains and to refresh the clothes to make them look new again, not like they had been handed down from cousin to sister to sister to sister!

You should also pre-wash any brand new baby clothes because you don't know where they have been or what's been on them.

2. Pre-soak any stained items

Between spitting up and diaper blow outs, those baby clothes can take a beating! Sometimes you don't notice stains on clothing when you pack them away but over time in storage, those stains start to pop up and become noticeable.

I start off the laundry cycle by sorting out those items that need a little pre-soaking. I add a scoop of OxiClean™  Versatile Stain Remover to the hottest water my sink will make. And then I let the clothes soak for a few hours. 

These are the same shirts side by side. What a difference the OxiClean™ made on those stains. It totally removed them!

3. Pre-Treat stains

Pre-treat any stains that you can ahead of time. Mix OxiClean™ powder with water according to package directions and spray on to your stain until the stain is completely saturated. Rub the area together and wait up to 10 minutes. Then launder as normal.

4. Velcro any tabs

Baby clothes, swaddle blankets and bibs have Velcro that can tangle up and make quite a mess in the wash. Velcro up any of those tabs before you wash so that you can avoid any snags or tangles.

5. Don't lose baby socks

Baby feet are so cute and little and sweet and those socks that go on them are so very tiny. They can get caught up in sleeves or stuck to a blanket or towel and then never seen again. Consider putting those baby socks in a mesh bag and washing them together so that you never lose a baby sock again.

6. Hang those clothes to dry

Sun is a natural bleach, and while it's not plentiful most months in our greater Seattle area, even those cloudy overcast days will still allow you to hang up those baby clothes to dry outside. Hanging clothes to dry also helps prevent shrinkage which is important when all your baby is doing right now is growing!

There are over 101 ways to use OxiClean™ to get tough stains out, delivering value through versatility and incredible benefits vs. detergent alone. It's my go to stain fighter. I would love to hear your best baby laundry tips or maybe your best stain fighting story.  You can share them on the Dear OxiClean™ site.

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The Essential Guide to Going Out of State for College

This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of CORT for IZEA. All opinions are 100% mine.

My husband did it, and now my son is following in his footsteps. After high school graduation, he's packing up and moving thousands of miles away from home to attend college. There are a few reasons he’s decided that an out of state college is right for him and I have to agree that they outweigh the reasons to stay, but don't think for a second that I didn't try to talk him out of it! One of my biggest attempts to convincing my son to stay in state for school (or at least in driving distance) was how logistically easier it would be to live part time in two places. As a college student, you are a resident of the university for the majority of the year, but most kids wander back home to the comfort of their old bedroom and the posters they tacked up on their walls back in junior high for a few months as well.

In my head, it's far easier to pack up the minivan and take a few hours drive than it is to figure out how to pack your earthly treasures in a few suitcases. In my heart, I know that the school he's selected is by far the best option for him and even though we will be thousands of miles apart, those logistical details are easy enough to work through.

With my husband's past experience, and with us currently ironing out the details of what it looks like to move out of state for college, I've created an essential guide to moving out of state for college with six tips for you to help ease the stress of that transition.

1. Sort out What You Want to Bring

If you are flying, you are limited in the amount of luggage that you can bring. You have to really pick and choose what is important to you. Start a list a few months before you move out with items that you think might be helpful to have with you. When you think of something, add it to the list. Writing this list gives you time to really think about the item and then decide if it's really worth the limited luggage space that you have or if it's something you can box up and keep at home. 

Once moving day nears, start a pile with those items and reevaluate. Ask yourself a few questions. Are they going to be useful to you in your new home? Will you use it more than one time? Will it cost more to replace than it will to bring? 

2. Coordinate with Your Roommate

Chances are you are going to be sharing a living space with someone while you are in college. Spend some time coordinating with them ahead of time about what items you plan on bringing or providing and which communal items you can share. 

3. Familiarize Yourself with Sites That Offer Free Shipping 

My husband tells the story about how he shipped a huge bottle of laundry detergent from his home to campus just before the start of classes. The bottle exploded en route and made a huge mess causing several hours of clean up. That's when he realized that he didn't have to ship everything from home! 

Ordering on-line is so easy and many sites offer free shipping. This is beneficial to those of you that don't have many transportation options.

4. Know Your Area

I grew up in the Midwest and spent my elementary years learning what to do in case of a tornado. Not even six months after moving to the west coast, we had a 6.8 earthquake. I had no idea what to do in an earthquake! A tornado, sure, earthquake, nope. My husband tells the story of watching his first tornado warning unfold on TV his freshman year. Again, he was caught off guard. Familiarize yourself with your area and know what to do in an emergency.

5.  Consider Furniture Rental

Calling two states home requires some flexibility. We don't have the luxury of storage space during the summer months. What our son can't fit in a suitcase under 50 pounds, just won't make the cut. That bed? Nope. A sofa? No way! But that doesn't mean we don't want him to be comfortable while he's living at school. CORT Furniture Rental provides furniture on-demand. It's there when he needs it, gone when he doesn't. CORT has student packages starting at $119/mo.

Trust me, I'm not against used furniture. Craigslist is one of my favorite buying sites, but when you have limited time as a student to get adjusted to a new living space, not to mention limited transportation options, this is a no brainer for me. Plus, at the end of the year, he can simply call them and have the furniture removed. That's one less thing he needs to worry about when he should be studying for finals. I'm all for exploring your options to rent furniture.

6. Work Smarter Not Harder

College kids have enough to worry about. The kids going to school out of state have an added layer of responsibility. They are learning to be independent in totally new territory.  Sign up for apps that can help organize and take on the burden of some of those new responsibilities. CORT has a partnership with SimpleBills that is pretty amazing! SimpleBills has an app and on-line feature that allows you to split and pay bills easily with roommates. SimpleBills receives the utility bill, can pay it and will invoice your roommates for their portion of the utility bill once a month. It's as easy as that!

This time of life is exciting! It's full of possibility and the future is bright. Best of luck to you on this next chapter.

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Free Printable Flower Vases that you can Color for May day or Mother's Day or Anyday

When I was a small child, I remember celebrating May day. As kids, we pretty much had the run of the neighborhood. My friends and I would pick whatever flowers we could find, tie them together and knock on the door of our neighbors as we ran away giggling. The flowers were a sweet thing for our neighbors to find on their doorstep and it was a fun thing for us to do as kids. 

It's so fun for me to find flowers on our door from the little neighbor girl across the street now. It reminds me of those sweet childhood days celebrating May day.  Which is why I made up these fun paper flower vases that you can print off and use to celebrate May day or Mother's Day or just because. They are so easy and you or the kids can color in the blank vases to create a special treat for those you love.

You want to start by downloading your flower vases and printing them off. I have two separate printables, one with a Bible verse and another without {perfect if you want to use it for a classroom}. There are three vases per page and cut line that you can follow to cut them out.download flower vase with NO Bible versedownload flower vase with Bible verse

Once the printables are cut you can gather your supplies. I use these brush pens to color because they are my favorite and the washi tape helps hold the flower in place on the back.

You will need to use scissors or a retractable knife to cut the top opening of the vase. 

Then, simply find some flowers and tuck them in. Use your washi tape to secure them in the back if you need to.

You can use these for Mother's Day tea's, place cards at women's events, May Day, or for a little pick me up.

Your kids will have fun with them, but I think that you will too! Why not brighten someone's day today.

dislaimer: this post may have affiliate links. By clicking on them and purchasing through them, I may receive a small commission. These small purchases help me to continue to keep writing content and creating at Holy Craft. Thank you!

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How to Know if Your Child is Ready for a Pet

This post was sponsored by PetSmart through their partnership with POPSUGAR Select. While I was compensated to write a post about PetSmart, all opinions are my own.
I don't know what it is, but there is a certain age that kids hit that they just start begging for pets. Maybe there is a class in school that they teach called "you need a pet or your childhood will be ruined" or maybe it's just something that is innate, but whatever it is, I think every child at some point in their childhood asks for some kind of animal.For my youngest son it was a fish. Which really is quite fitting because we joke that Owen is part fish anyway. Owen is drawn to the water. He just seems to find comfort there. 

Last summer we couldn't deny his desire to have an aquarium and after promising that he would take care of the tank himself, we realized that he did indeed seem like he would stand true to his promise and we allowed him to get a fish tank. Not one to be excluded, my daughter set up her own much smaller tank with a Betta fish. 

So how will you know if your child is ready for a pet? I have a few questions that you can ask yourself that might help you decide if your child is ready for the responsibility of a pet.

About six years ago we got a family dog. Sophie has taught us many things and I see great value in having a family pet. I knew that when we got a dog, she would be a loyal member of our family. No one person would "own" her, she would be all of ours and while the kids promised lots of things {they would always clean up the poop in the yard-HA!}, we would all take care of her. 

When my son was asking to get fish as pets, those would be his responsibility. Something he would take care of, with our help as needed. So how did we know that he was ready for taking on that responsibility on his own?

Well, we had seen him with our dog. You may not have a family pet already, but you may have seen your child exhibit signs of responsibility in other areas. Do they handle their belongings with care? Do they take their current responsibilities seriously? Is your child able to remember and follow through on daily tasks like brushing their own teeth?  

You want to make sure that your child can remember the daily task of feeding their animal the correct amount {this is so important, especially if you have fish!}, and that when it's time to change the water or clean a cage, your child can handle most of that task on their own and they do it in a timely manner.  

my daughter's set up for her Beta fish named Luna

Another thing that your family should take into consideration is the amount of time you have to invest in a certain animal. We spent a lot of time at our local PetSmart before we set up the tank to find out what would be involved in taking care of a fish tank. The employees were super helpful. Every one we talked to had a tank of their own at home and had lots of experience to draw on. We had a dog sitter for our puppy, but if we left on vacation what would we do if we had a 10-gallon tank full of fish? 

The PetSmart staff assured us that there were feeders that we could buy if we were going to be gone for a few days. If your family is often gone or if your child has a sleepover, who will take on the responsibility of the animal when your child can't do it? My kids take turns helping each other out if they have sleepovers. They take great care in turning off the tank light at night to allow the fish time to unwind and make sure that they consistently feed the fish at the same time every day.

You also want to make sure that you have a helpful resource to turn to if you have questions regarding your new pet. Of course we have a vet for our dog, but we rely on the helpful support and knowledge from the PetSmart team. They are our go to source if we have any questions. Who can you turn to if you or your child have questions about the care of your pet?

We had never had a fish tank before and there was a lot more to it than just making sure that the fish had clean water and fish food. The PetSmart staff helped us figure out what kind of fish would work best in my son's aquarium, and which fish would be happy together and then gave us all the details we needed to know how frequently to change the water {every two weeks} and how much water to change. They even pointed us in the right direction for what kinds of chemicals to use to keep the fish water a happy, healthy place for my son's fish.

A fish ended up being the perfect pet for our kids to have. Not only does it create a really relaxing environment in my son's room {there is nothing like hearing that soft swoosh of those aquarium bubbles}, but it's also helped our kids exhibit responsibility. Pet ownership has a lot of benefits. Making sure your child is ready for it will only increase the overall satisfaction of pet ownership for your whole family. 

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How to plan the perfect college visit for your high school student

My oldest son is a senior in high school this year and while it feels like just yesterday I was holding his hand walking him into pre-school, it won't be long before I'm packing him up and saying goodbye for months at a time.

Let's not talk about that part though. Let's talk about the fun part where we get to travel and spend time together and make memories and plan futures. That part is fun and not as scary.

If you are in this phase of life with a junior or a senior in high school and college looks like it's in their future, this guide will help you plan the perfect college visit.

1. Start local

My son knows that he's not interested in attending school locally. And by locally, I mean anywhere in our great state of Washington. That hasn't stopped me from  a) trying to convince him {heck, in state tuition is so much more reasonable!} and b) taking college tours at local schools.

Most kids don't know what they like and what they don't like about a college campus. They may not even know what they should like or be looking for. Going to some local universities for a tour gives them the barometer they need to start comparing one school with another, and it may just help them narrow down where they want to apply when the time comes.

Does your son or daughter want a big school or do they prefer a smaller university? Do they want a rural campus or do they prefer something more urban? Hitting up a local college or university is a great way to get an idea of what type of school that your child is interested in and give them an idea of what a campus tour is like, what kinds of questions they have and gives them an opportunity to find out what's most important to them in a college.

2. Schedule your visit

Once you have your list of schools that you want to visit, go to their website. Most will have a tab that has more information on planning and scheduling your visit. I have found that you really need to give a college visit at least four hours. 

In my experience, starting your campus visit is best if you start it with a guided college tour. The college tour guide is usually a current student not much older than your son or daughter but they can answer questions about college life and point out the highlights of the campus.

If touring a residence hall is important, make sure you schedule a tour of them. There is so much information on-line now that many websites provide virtual tours of dorms and living spaces. 

3. Make time to sit in on a class

Many universities have an open door policy for perspective students. While I haven't had my son sit in on a class at every college we have toured, I do think it's important that he's had that opportunity. At nearly every college you will visit you will hear the mention of class size. Just knowing what your son or daughter is comfortable with in terms of class size is important. 

Have them sit in on a class with 100+ students if they plan on attending a large university where that is the norm. Let them get a feel for what that is like. On the flip side, have them also sit in on a smaller class. Your college visit is all about being able to compare and contrast and use their findings to narrow down the best fit for their future education.

4. Make an academic appointment

While your college bound student may not know exactly what degree they want to pursue just yet, have them meet an advisor {or two} in the college department that they seem to be interested in. Most college applications will make you narrow down what department you want to apply to, so now is a great time to get a feel for what it is that your son or daughter may be most interested in. 

When my son has had these appointments, I have sat in on them but it's important to let your child take the lead on asking the questions and steering the conversation.  If you need to, role play with your child ahead of time so that they are comfortable engaging in conversation.

If you know ahead of time the advisor or professor that you are meeting, it's probably not a bad idea to take a second to google their name.  Read some of their published works, get to know what their interests and specialties are. Just taking this time will make your child seem more prepared and will give them a talking point that will probably take the heat off of them in a conversation. 

5. Meet with the admissions advisor

Not all schools require an interview, but if your child has strong interpersonal skills, the opportunity to meet with an admissions advisor while you are on campus may be very beneficial during the application process.  

The few schools that we visited my son's junior year all made notes of the interactions he had either through information sessions, college fairs and most importantly the time spent face to face with the admissions advisor.  These interactions gave him opportunities to apply early decision, sometimes without fees.

6. Stay local

When you are visiting a college, try to stay local. If you need to spend the night, try to stay on campus or on the outskirts. Walk around campus at night, eat dinner at a local hot spot. If you can, have lunch at a dorm or in the student union. This gives you the opportunity to see what college life on the campus is really like.  

Don't be afraid to strike up conversations with the students. Ask them what they think of the college and why they selected it. My son is interested in being a part of the greek system. We happened to be at lunch and saw a group of students with fraternity and sorority shirts on. We struck up a conversation with them and got the inside scoop on greek life at this particular university. My son even made a connection with one of the fraternity members and has his number should he attend the school in the fall. 

These conversations are usually the most honest conversations that you will have. The campus tour guide, the college admissions advisor, the visitors staff are all doing their best to sell you on the university. You will only ever hear the positives. Candid conversations with students on campus usually gives you a different perspective into college life that you might not have gotten otherwise from those people you have come in contact with so far since they are trying to sell you on their university. Don't be afraid to stop college kids. It may be the most insightful conversation you have on your whole tour.

7. Make a list

We visited 3 universities in 5 days, they all started to blend together. Have your child keep a list of the pros and cons of each school. Use the time after your visit to talk together about what they liked and what they didn't like.  This chance to debrief after your visit is the best time to find out what's really important to your child in a college or university.

8. Follow up

Make sure that your child follows up with the college staff that he or she has met. Most of the academic advisors and admissions officers are quick with their business cards, but if they aren't make sure that your child made a note on their list {see #6} of the person who they spoke to.  This follow up is a great way to prepare your child for future job interviews.

This is an exciting time! Make the most of the opportunity and enjoy the preparation. If you have anything to add, I would love to hear it! Simply comment below or send me a message rachelholycraft@gmail.com

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The one thing stay at home moms should be doing every single day

It's been said that it takes 10,000 hours of practice to become an expert in something. If we go by that idea, then after 16 years of being a stay at home mom, I think I'm going to don that expert title and roll with it.

Just last year, besides my blog {that I work on from home}, I started working outside of the home on a very part time basis as a substitute teacher. I have learned a few things, but one of those things I think is the one thing that stay at home moms should be doing every single day.

It wasn't that long ago that I had a houseful of very cute but very mischievous little people. I remember when this picture was taken. Our youngest, who was a toddler, was very interested in the gingerbread house that his sister had made. We had it sitting on display in our entry and the little guy took the chance to sneak away and pull the tray with the gingerbread house down so that he could have a little snack.

He's shoving his mouth full of gingerbread house candy oblivious to the fact that his sister is heartbroken on the floor looking at the damages of her hard work and beautiful creation.

I know very well what the days look like when you stay at home with your children, and now I can compare it with those of the working parent. Here is the one thing that I take away with me from my job that I wasn't doing before. It may just be life changing for you stay at home moms.

As a stay at home mom I was busy all of the time. The kids kept me on my toes, they needed messes cleaned up, food made for them, the house needed attention, more food needed made, kids needed napped, diapers needed changed, the list goes on.  I thought that I had my kids on a good schedule but what I didn't realize is that their schedule had me.

While the kids napped, I would fold laundry or clean the kitchen or tackle a project. If the kids were awake, I was tending to them. I wasn't taking time out just for me during the day.

Now that my kids are in school and the house is relatively calm during the day, I realized that my bad habits of trying to fit in everything that I could during those quite times has just been extended by about five hours and I have a larger chunk of the day to work, but typically that doesn't mean focusing on me. Or taking a break for me. It means housework, blogging, laundry, prepping dinner because our evenings are so busy.  So you want to know what the one thing is that I have taken away from working and what I think stay at home moms should be doing every single day?

Ready for it? It's earth shattering. You should be taking a lunch break. When I work, I get a half an hour lunch break. It's glorious. I eat my lunch usually in silence and enjoy flipping through a magazine or scrolling mindlessly through social media. 

My husband has always had this hour long lunch break that he has taken. He tells me that it's his favorite time of the day. He eats his lunch at his desk, logs into Netflix and watches his stories. During my day, I rarely do anything that doesn't involve shoving in as much work as I can and being as productive as I can before I go pick up kids from school. 

When I work, I can totally see why my husband loves his lunch break. Who knew? So I'm telling you moms, stop trying to fit it all in. Give yourself a little grace and take a little time to enjoy a lunch break.  Take it from me. I'm an expert. 

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Motherhood and transformation-How your life changes when you become a mom

This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of COUNTRY Financial® for IZEA. All opinions are 100% mine.

I've gotten a bit sappy and sentimental this year. You see, my oldest son, the little boy who made me a mom, is entering into an exciting year.

He's a senior in high school and while it's barely December, he's applied at colleges and university's all over the country. Next year at this time, his zip code, heck probably even the state he lives in is going to be different than the one we share together right now. For the past 17 years, we've shared life in the same four walls. He's taught me how to be selfless and how to love unconditionally. He gave me the gift of motherhood and that role has changed me for the better.

I was one of the first of my friends to have a child. I remember talking to them about how life wouldn't really change. The only thing that would be different is that I would have a baby. No big deal. Holy cow, was I wrong! The moment that baby was placed in my arms, my world was totally different.

It took time for me to find my way through this new role of mom. I had played the part of daughter, friend, and sister for a long time. The role of newlywed was new and it wasn't long before I became a mom. I was now balancing all these roles and I wasn't sure how to navigate that balance.

I was only 20 when my son was born and my life revolved mostly around me. My decisions were mostly driven by what I wanted to do and what I needed. As soon as that baby was placed in my arms, it was no longer about me. I didn't just become a mom that day, we became a family.

While you hear that your life will change when you become a mom, you don't always believe it. I think it's because change usually has a negative connotation. My life changed completely when I became a mom, but it changed for the better. I made sacrifices being a young mom, and while I know my 20's would have looked quite different had I held off parenthood as long as the majority of my friends did, I know that I would have missed out on learning so much about myself during that time.

As my son grew and started to ask questions, I learned more and more about myself and my values. I learned what was really important and what really wasn't. I learned to slow down, to laugh more and to be intentional. So new mom, yes, your life is going to change completely after you have a baby, but it doesn't mean that you stop being you. You actually start being a new better version of you. A version that has eyes watching you and ears listening to you and a child who mimics your every move and that version turns into the version of it's best self.

And now, 17 years later, as I prepare to send that young man that still calls me mommy out into this world, I know that I have grown into that role as mom.  I embrace that role with pride and while part of my heart will leave this home and head out into the world, I have given my whole heart to be his mother. Plus also, Lord bless us, we still have two more kids at home to hug on and Lord Jesus, that is all that is holding this sappy mom together, because it's true what they say, the days are long but the years are short.

So I look to all you new moms, those moms with babes in their bellies and in their arms and crawling up their legs, those moms who haven't gone to the bathroom by themselves in years and those who haven't slept in weeks with a fond remembrance. Those days are long gone for me, but I remember them well. 

Your life will change completely, but you will be completely better, and one day you will look back on those sleepless nights and those long {oh so very long!} wakeful days and you will remember the small hands that slipped into yours, the sticky kisses and the incessant questions from curious toddlers and you will realize that you have never loved so deeply in all of your days and you won't regret a second.

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How to survive when you hand your keys over to your teen driver

We did it. We survived teaching and driving with a 15 year old.  Our oldest son Aidan was dying to drive for years and as a parent who has navigated the waters, we get asked often what some of our best tips are.I won't say that we have all of the answers, but we do have some experience. These are a few of the ways that we survived teaching our son to drive.

Every state is different, but in our lovely state of Washington, kids who are 15 AND enrolled in a drivers education class can get their learner's permit. For Aidan's 15th birthday, we gave him drivers education lessons, so he was eligible to get his permit on his birthday and don't think that we didn't rush right on over to the DMV and get that shiny new piece of paper allowing him to operate a motor vehicle. 

There are different schools of thought on this. For us, we had an excited driver. He wanted to learn to drive as soon as he was legal. I was the same way.  I am quite independent and love the freedom that driving allows me.  So I could totally understand his desire.  There are kids though that are just not interested. I think that if that's the case, there is no need to push them into driving if they just aren't feeling it. As parents, we thought that there was great benefit in the fact that he would have a full year of driving with an adult in all different kinds of weather conditions with plenty of opportunities to drive at different times of the day and at different times of the year.As soon as Aidan got that permit, I had an automatic chauffeur. He wanted to drive everywhere. I know not all kids are like this {and perhaps not all parents are ready to relinquish all control}, but for our son, he was excited to be behind the wheel and I allowed him the opportunity to drive nearly every where that we went.I say that I allowed him, because the reality is, he was almost always with me. My husband wasn't always excited at the prospect of being replaced behind the wheel, so it wasn't always a given for Aidan to drive when my husband was with us, but nearly every time I was in the car, he was driving me.I think that allowing Aidan to drive for a full year before turning him over as an independent driver on his 16th birthday, put us more at ease when he got behind the wheel without one of us in the car. When it snowed one winter, instead of staying bundled up inside, we hit the streets. Carefully teaching him how to start on an icy patch and spin out in a parking lot. When it rained buckets, we let him get behind the wheel and drive us home.We did often take into careful consideration how many of our ducks were all in one place. When there was inclement weather, I rarely would let him drive for the first few months with all of us in the car. I didn't want to risk all of our lives!There were no written rules as to how we eased into driving, but we started slow, driving on our community streets first and mastering that, before hitting the busier roads in our town. It wasn't long before we were letting him hit the highway, but usually only during the afternoon or the weekend and never during rush hour. Driving at night brings with it it's own challenges. All things to take into consideration. After a few months, we felt more comfortable letting Aidan take the wheel while our whole family was in the car. The person sitting in the front seat with him, was always the one giving directions and advice because there is nothing worse than hearing different things shouted at you from the front and the back seat.  Unless there is something life threatening, sit back and enjoy the ride while the pilot and co pilot up front do the driving.One thing that we did notice during our long permit period was that after about a half a year, our son got really comfortable.  This was a good thing for us to see so that we could nip bad behavior before it became a habit. Driving with a long permit period doesn't mean that once your child gets their license that they will be a perfect driver {not even a month after our son got his license he took a corner too quickly on a rainy night and ended up in a ditch}, but you will have plenty of opportunities with your child behind to wheel to impart all of your driving wisdom on them.  So what do you think? What helped you survive being behind the wheel with your kids?

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Benefits of buying used gifts for your kids

It's hard to believe, but Christmas isn't that far off.  Some years it sneaks up on me.  Other years, I'm totally prepared.  The one thing that is consistent is that we really like to give more than we get. We started out as a very young family and early on set a $50 Christmas gift limit for our kids.  We didn't want our kids getting consumed by wish lists and having Christmas be all about them.  We wanted them to be thinking of others.

Because we have set this limit on Christmas gifts, I've had to get creative.  Especially as they get older.  There are things that they have really desired, but that haven't been in the budget. I wanted to share some of the benefits that we have found because we have bought used gifts for our kids.It's not uncommon for our kids to find gifts that I have found at garage sales under the tree.  I actually see a huge benefit from it from a parents stand point.  I hear a lot of parents on Christmas saying they stayed up all night putting together the kitchen they bought for their kids or piecing together the Barbie dream house for their daughter.  

I saw this video and I had to share. I love that most of what we buy used comes put together already. We don't have to spend hours following directions that don't make any sense.  Instead, we can enjoy a warm drink in front of the fire and stare at the glowing lights on the Christmas tree.I'm not a super tree hugger but one of those side benefits is that you don't have the packaging and waste that comes with the doll being bolted in a package six different ways from Sunday!By buying used, my kids have gotten gifts that we wouldn't otherwise buy for them.  While we can afford to buy a new American Girl doll, I would much rather spend my money on something else that matters far more. My daughter doesn't have an American Girl doll shortage. In fact, over the years, she's had upwards of 10 authentic American Girl dolls. All bought at garage sales for less than $5 each. Does it matter that she didn't have the box that the doll came in? Not once!Shopping this way requires some forethought. I have had to keep my kids and the things that they like in mind when I'm out garage sale shopping. I don't just buy used gifts at garage sales though. I've been known to pick them up on Craigslist and eBay as well.  So what do you think? Do you buy used gifts for your kids? Would you even consider it?

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How to shop smart for your kids Halloween costume

Halloween is my favorite holiday behind Christmas. I love free stuff and candy, so there isn't much better in life than combining those two loves.  

I've also always been a big fan of dressing up. I actually don't know too many kids who don't love pretending they are someone or something else and expressing that with some fun costume and accessories. My kids are getting older and we don't have a dedicated toy room filled with plastic toys anymore {hallelujah!} but we do have a few tubs full of dress up clothes. If we have kids over anytime of the year, all of them tend to gravitate towards our dress up bucket.I love getting dress up items at garage sales, but I also use this time of the year to stock up on those accessories that make the outfits at our local Spirit Halloween store. {You can find a Spirit store near you here.}
Our local store is HUGE! Spirit has not only kids costumes but adult costumes and accessories. Pretty much anything that you could think of that you would need.

Before I shop, I always take inventory of what I have at home. Is there something my kids are requesting that we might not have?  Is there a hot new character they want to be {Minions anyone...}?

I am not one of those people that grabs a complete costume in a bag. I have far more fun putting together something from things I have and then using accessories to pull it all together.  So, I hit the accessory aisles and there was plenty to choose from!

I tried to stay focused on the list of things that I had at home {I seriously wanted to grab the aviator hat and glasses, but since I didn't have a leather bomber jacket at home that would have made the outfit, I had to pass}.  It's all about shopping smart. Use what you have, and pick up accessories that you might not have.

I was glad to see that Spirit had a whole aisle of basic items. Like girls black body suits and tights. The best costumes start with basic layers. Spirit is the one stop shop for all things Halloween.  I like to remember that my time is worth something and while I could make every single item of their costumes, sometimes it's worth it to spend a little bit of money and save my sanity!

I know I've heard stories of moms going out to look for that one hard to find item that their kids want to complete their costume. My guess is, they could have saved a lot of time just by popping into Spirit because if they don't have it, it probably doesn't exist! You can also pick up Halloween decor and party supplies all in one spot!  Time saved is money saved!

This is the haul of some things I bought, and some things that got sent to me as part of a surprise package from Spirit. I managed to make over 15 different Halloween costumes for boys, girls and adults using just these supplies.  Come back next week to see how I styled the costumes using basic clothes and costumes and accessories from Spirit Halloween store.

In the meantime, you all know how much I love to save money.  I've got a 20% off coupon just for you!  Go! Shop smart!
disclaimer: this is a sponsored post for Spirit Halloween store.  All opinions are 100% my own. I wouldn't write about it, if I didn't love it.

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